After my first date with Bert we saw each other nearly every day! Either going out on our own or with other people. I was still very young and he was so nice to me. Made me feel great! Each day  I wondered when I would see him again! 

We ended up seeing each other every day at work! I remember a few of the other lads that worked there saying that I could do better than that! That I was a stunning person! I thought you obviously just want to get your leg over and he likes my personality! We would talk for hours, he told me that he'd got a girl pregnant that was 1 year younger than him. She had an abortion, of her own choice, but he said he would have been there for her and the child. But she didn't want to keep it as she was only 16. That was 2 years before we had met! 
I thought what an honest person, he didn't have to tell me that! 

I was so happy, I figured the way it all happened was so nice, almost like I was meant to work there if only to meet him! I was gone, hook line and sinker, besotted and would have done anything for him!

I started traveling to his by bus after work. He would say he can't walk to much because of his leg still hurting from the accident! I would feel so sorry for him. So I would get on two buses, to travel for 1 hour spend an hour with him and then travel back, he would walk me back to the bus stop and I would think what a gentlemen! Thought to myself, thought he was in too much pain to walk, then thought aww he has rested it all evening, and just thought it was nice for him to walk me when he was in pain! Kinda felt guilty about him walking me to the bus stop! Omg he started very early into the relationship! I have only just figured how early now!!!

Eights weeks into our relationship he took me out for a meal. We were sat in the lounge waiting for our table.
Then, it happened!  He went down on one knee. People were all looking and he started to get very nervous.
He said he had never met anyone so kind and caring as me! 
That I made him feel complete and that he would like it if I could be a part of his life! 
I said are you asking me to marry you? I was very shocked and overwhelmed! 
He said I suppose I am yes! 
Nobody had ever said anything quite so lovely to me! 

I said yes!!

Went home and told my parents! Well I couldn't hide it from them I was beaming!  They were a bit shocked, but you haven't known him that long, I said well does it matter and we are not getting married straight away! 
Mum said this is true, you could have a long engagement! She said he is very charming and I can see how happy he makes you! 

The chase!

Well I had been working my job about three weeks. When a customer walked in hobbling slightly, with the use of a walking stick. 

He asked to see the general manager. So I was my professional self and asked him to take a seat in the cafe. He asked what my name was, "Anna" I said. He said "Hi Anna lovely to meet you" he shook my hand. I remember thinking what charming man. 

Part of my job was to answer the telephones. It is one thing I have always been good at and people have always remarked on how good my telephone manner is. 

Anyway a few days later, this "customer" phoned he said "Hello Anna, we met the other day" and asked to speak to one of the technicians. So I put him through. Minutes later that technician appeared "what do you think of Bert?" I said I can't really say as I don't know him. 

Then the next day, he phoned again and asked to speak  mike, mike then came up to me and said "so is Bert your type?" I said "Don't know that I really have a type!" I mean I was only 18 how can you have a "Type" at 18!

A couple of days later he came in to see management! Sasha was there, he said "she has a lovely voice don't you think and that smile that greets customers when they come in is beautiful!" I just blushed and looked at the floor. Sasha and Bert then went off and had a chat! She came back with a piece of paper, it had his number! She said "if you didn't guess he likes you and said you can give him a call any time"  
I said "I'm not calling him, no way! I don't know him" I was a bit embarrased, never called a man before, I wouldn't know what to say!

Anyway a couple of days later I was in the office and he phoned and asked to speak to Sarah, now Sarah, was stood right next to me! 
I could hear Sarah speaking! 
"well you could find that out for yourself!"
"no!"
"ask her yourself!" and handed the phone to me. Bert was still talking on the other end. 
"no, do it for me please" he said
"do what?", I asked.
Well, he went quiet. Then he said "you have a lovely voice, very caring and captivating!"
"Thank you" I said. I was very flattered, who wouldn't be and thought he is even nicer than I thought!
"I was wondering if you would like to go to the cinema tonight?" he said
"why would I do that I don't know you!" I thought he might be a letch who wants one thing!
He then said "well you won't get to know me if you don't come out with me!"
Couldn't really argue that one could I.

So I met him, outside work that same night. 
We went in the bar for a drink. We chatted and he was lovely. Told me how pretty I looked and that he had not stopped thinking about me since he first saw me. 
I tried to play it cool "well just thought you were a customer, treated you the same as I would any other customer" 
Well you are very lovely. I must have blushed. Were we just about to go in the cinema next door. A girl called Caroline came up. She said "Hi" we were all chatting. She said she was bored, but had no one to hang with because they were all working.
He said "You are more than welcome to join us, if you don't mind!" 
I thought it was nice that he didn't want her to be alone! 

We watched Leon, which was an action film. He behaved like a gentleman. 
At the end of the night, he asked if he  could give me a kiss. By this point I was very attracted to his charming ways. So I said yes, expecting him to kiss me on the cheek. But he went straight for the lips. I was a bit surprised. It was just a gentle kiss. He then made sure I got into the taxi ok! 
I went home feeling very good about myself. I was a very shy girl, so didn't think anyone would notice me! 

Now if you were to ask him, none of that happened, he has never chased a girl in his life, he doesn't need to!!!  

Well I'll let you be the judge of that! 

Alarming Induction

I was 18, a bit shy, very professional; I liked to go out have fun and dance. I had my first real full time job. I was a chatty person, fairly pretty and a good figure, slightly heavy but curves where they were noticed. I guess you would say curvaceous!  My job was as a receptionist at the local ten pin bowling centre. 

I got off the bus and walked the small journey to the Bowl. As I was walking, a fire engine rushed passed me! I remember thinking “Typical, I am supposed to start work and the place is on fire, please let it be the cinema!” I can’t believe I even thought like that, but I was so excited about my new job. Then an ambulance came towards me, in that ambulance unbeknown to me was a man that would have a huge impact on my life.

I arrived at the bowl for my induction, there was no fire. People were still bowling, but the staff were quite distraught. It was quite obvious something was going on. I was sat in the café with the other inductees. Lisa, Kylie and a young man who I can’t recall, perhaps he didn’t stay long. Kylie had worked there before and knew some of the staff. So she asked what was going on. Well what happened was one of the lane technicians was fixing the bowling lane, when the machine malfunctioned and pulled him in by his throat, the life being squeezed out of him, his feet were off the floor, The man in the ambulance! 


A manager, Nigel came over you could see he was upset and just holding it together. He said there had been an accident and everyone is a little shaken, so could we come back the next day. Kylie and I could see that it was something bad from the way Nigel was, Lisa was just annoyed that she had been put out! I was quite shocked at her reaction. She said "no actually it not ok, I have made the effort to get here I want my induction now!" He politely told her it was not possible and said she would be paid for her inconvenience. She was happy to go away then.  

If it had not been for a fellow technician going back to the workshop because he had forgotten his hat, he would not have found him, raised the alarm and resuscitated him three times before the ambulance came, that man would not have been here today and it would have effected so much of my life as it is now. 

Things like that really make you think, send shivers up my spine when i think about it and you know It has never occurred to me until today, writing this, how ironic that very day was!! 

Time to step back.

If you’re constantly being told by your friends and family that he is no good. You think you know him better. Nobody else can see the good things in him, you may even feel sorry for him because nobody else believes in him, his friends or family.

You may even think that he will change and those nice things you see in him will be there all the time. Because if you appreciate those things about him, then he will want to be that person more often. Ooh and what about the way he makes everything sound great and convinces you that you think it is great too. Well I would say, as of woman of experience listen to those family and friends, a bigger warning is if it is his family and friends say it too!

Just take a step back. You may think hang on what about the children, I won’t lie it is hard on them because they see there dad as someone great, especially if you think you have been clever enough to hide it from them.

Don’t be fooled they see and hear more than you think. They will be happy to see there mum smile and laugh again. If you take that step back,  you will start to see what they have all been telling you for years. It is Time to save yourself and remember who you used to be. Or like me discover who you are because you never got to find out, your personality was crushed and hidden along the way and you were only 18 when you met and you only became what he wanted. Look back and you might see a glimpse of her somewhere, your former self.